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Married with Zombies

“So…how do I look?” Asked a girl, who was looking at her image in the mirror in front of her. She looked around years of age and was wearing a long, white dress, which the human race would classify as a wedding dress. What she was wearing was, in fact, a wedding dress. Her ,hair was left to make sure her veil would stay securely on her head. Her eyes were as as and her nails were painted white, to match her dress, veil and shoes. Her name was but everybody called her due to lack of respect.

“You know who you look like? Bride Barbie!” Laughed one of the three bridesmaids, also dressed in white. .

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” asked, with a confused and worried look on her face.

“Well I think you look nice.” Complimented , who had hair and eyes.

“So, …got any plans for the honeymoon?” asked, with a huge grin on her face.

, not realising what meant, simply said, “Yeah, we’re going to for two weeks and you’ll never guess what we’re gonna be doing when we get there! You lot are gonna be so jealous!”

"Oh, really? What are you gonna be doing then? I hope it involves protection!" giggled.

turned round and gave an evil look. “First of all, we’re goin and secondly…yeah, ok, maybe just firstly…in fact, forget secondly. That was just a mistake.”

"! There you are!” Said , stating the obvious while walking into the room. was the maid of honour. She had .

“Well duh she’s gonna be here! It’s not like she’s going to be in MacDonald’s or Burger King! Or KFC…ok I’m hungry now, when’s food?” Asked . She always seemed to be hungry and always eating something.

“There is food at the reception, ok?” answered.

"! Pay attention! You're wanted..." trailed off.

“Wanted? Where?”

“At the door.” said, pointing to the door behind her.

walked over to the door and opened it to find , a boy who was and had and eyes.

"You sent for me? I was wondering where was..."

"Yeah, told me to tell you he’s excited and he can’t wait ‘til later.”

“Why couldn’t he tell me himself?”

“Because we decided we couldn’t trust him to come see you. Well I best be off then…I’m best man! I got a great job to do! I’ll see ya later, good luck!” said, kissing on the cheek and walking down the corridor.

walked back into the room, sat down on a chair and checked the time on the clock.

“What was all that about?” Asked .

“Nothing…” said, smiling to herself.


“God, this guy seems to drone on and on and on and on!” whispered to , who was standing closest to

“I know, it’s like ‘can’t you just say they’re married and let them go?’” said, checking her watch.

noticed and chatting, took off one of her white shag bands that she was wearing, and threw it at them. They stopped talking and started paying attention.

“Oh my God, just gave me 'The Look'!" whispered to .

"What's 'The Look'?" Asked .

“The look that he normally gives me. I think it’s so sexy…, I can't hold it in any more!"said, giving her small bouquet and running over to Dougie and jumping on him, making him fall backwards onto the floor. All the other bridesmaids started laughing.

", either get off him or get out!" threatened.

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!" screamed, lying on , who seemed to be enjoying the extra attention.

", don't give the other bridesmaids ideas! They'll all be...oh great. They've started..." said, realizing that the other bridesmaids had started jumping on the ushers.

jumped on , jumped on and jumped on . Even the flower girl, , got involved and jumped on , the ring bearer.

went out of the room for a moment, then came back with a huge broom and swept up the bodies on the floor and put them outside. She then went back inside and carried on with the wedding.

When the wedding was over, she went back outside to collect the bodies but they had all gone, leaving only their clothes as evidence they were ever there.

~*~ The Honeymoon ~*~

When and got off the plane in , they went straight to their hotel and went to their room. Over two hours later, they came back out of the room and went to the swimming pool.

"Hey, , does that zombie look like to you?" asked, pointing to a zombie that was getting off with another zombie.

“You know what? It does! Since when was a zombie though?" “Probably since that guy she’s with become a zombie as well. He looks like too. Maybe we should get their attention, like idiots would.”

“Yeah, good idea.” picked up a glass from off the table next to her and threw it at the zombie couple. It smashed on 's head and he turned around to look at and .

"Yeah, it's them. Hi guys!" Shouted .

“Braaaiiinnsss!” Moaned the zombies as they walked over to and .

"Hey, . What you doing?" asked as grabbed 's head and started tapping it.

"Brains, damn it!" moaned, then going over to and doing the same.

Realizing he wasn’t going to get any brains from those two, shrivelled up and collapsed on the floor. done the same. So, and went back to their hotel to get ready to go .

When they got back that night, the saw and at the hotel reception and decided to ignore them and hurry up to their hotel room.

On the way to the hotel room, they spotted and who, they decided, were too busy to be disturbed.

When they finally got to their hotel room and were all squeaky clean after their showers, they heard a lot of banging going on in the room next to them. So went and discovered that it was and .

After two weeks, the honeymoon was over and and were on the plane back to England. They weren’t so shocked when they saw and coming out of the toilet together.

“They could’ve made it a bit less obvious.” Stated .

“I know, isn’t sex on planes illegal now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

And they never spoke another word, ever again…except when the food cart came round…and…okay tell a lie, they couldn’t live without talking.


"I will go down as your lover, your friend, give me your lips and with one kiss, we begin..."
Blink 182 - I'm Lost Without You